Friendship is a two way road.

Last night, I was upset by an incident. Upset by friends who forget you but you never intended to forget them. Never.

Friends that do not appreciate you. Do not appreciate your love, care and concern. Friends that you will fight the battle for but ended up being sit on because you made a mistake. A very silly mistake. Not some callous mistake just a stupid tiny mistake. Even a fly could understand the situation and will remind itself, to err is only human. Even geniuses made mistakes. The mistake was, me spending too much time with my own friends. Silly, don’t you think?

The thing is, no matter how tiny or silly your mistakes were you know it was a mistake you did and realised it. You felt remorseful and wished that you could turn back time, never making that mistake but that is of course, a mission very impossible to accomplish. Then, you tried to make up for it but you were shut down. As if, you have no other better things to do than to waste your effort and time on such events. Even after that, you never tend to give up because you thought they are worth your time and effort. They are a good person that you never wished to lose. You tried and you tried but you were harshly slammed on the face repeatedly.

What can you say? What can you do? Nothing. You cannot force things. Just note that such is life. Life has to go on. You have to move on. Bearing in mind that all shall past and time heals all.

Cecilia came back from her trip in time for this. She called me, I never told her. She just called and said, “I’m back! Sorry adik you cannot get me, the connection was not good. How are you? How are your boys?” I just replied “Fine!” From that answer, she knew something was amiss. She asked me what happened, I gave her a blunt sharp reply, “Ah nothing ah.”

“Hey, don’t be upset or angry lah, not good for you. I am here. Anything just calls me and looks me up.” (My best friend. this is what you call the term, best friend. Understanding the weather, you are in)

I said, ok and told her I need to put down the phone. After I garnered my strength and re-composed myself, I called her back and shared with her.

Her reaction, she was Furious! She said, “I told you to ignore her. I told you to let it be. Why won’t you listen? She is like that. She forget you and your kindness and be blinded by her new gained friends’ friendship and forget your existence but blamed you for it“

She also said, No point trying to such people who will close their very eyes and heart, swatting away your kindness and your polite attitude of being a friend to them. No matter how you try, they just are too bold and ignorant. The answer to such selfish person, it is best to let loose such un-adorable friends. She reminded me of my life and all that surrounded me.

I have my life. My family means the world to me. I am much better than to burst the bubbles of my life just because of you. It is not worth it. Not worth it! Not for you! That is for sure.

You. Yeah! You. I tried ok. I really did tapi kau melampau.

Do I need to always cater for your feelings? What about mine? All this while, I heard you been saying things, I just Ignored. All this while, I tried to forget and move on but you are still stuck in the limbo.

I forgot all about you and your existence in my life. Oh please! When did I ever do that? Aku will always sms and email kau. Did you ever reply? No!

In addition, you forget, Kau have a new partner, why do you need me. You do not. You spent most of your luxurious time with your partner and I understand that. I am even very happy for you. Again, I am still the pisang tanah who forgets you and who does not make the effort. It is me never you. Kau forget, repeatedly I tried and you simply ignored. I tried but you always forget.

To me, friendship is to forgive, forget and move on. Accepting each other flaws and lacks off. I did accept yours. I am not sure if you ever accepted mine. I had to ask. Repeatedly. I had to ask. Use your head! Be courteous enough. Even if kau hate the idea of asking me, the courtesy of asking is appropriate. Do I need to ask?

Kau angry because I entertained that someone and forgot about you. I spent too much time with that someone and less time with you. Apart from that someone, I do have a family ok. Do I need to remind you of your cannot-dos boyfriend? It is ok; I do not have to be such a calculative-sort of a person.

You hate the blogging friends I have. You do not wish to be apart of it and I did just that. Never once, I included you in. Not even with all the what happened-s.  Yeah! True. Spent most time with them but that was way before. You heard from her, Aku now more to myself. You know why. Moreover, you know why I am still going out with bloggers.

Kau should know me. Kau should. Among everyone else, you should know me! Apart from Cecilia lah
kan. I had enough of all this craps lah eh. If kau nak kawan dgn aku, kawan, I am here, will always be here. Kau nak lupakan aku and be merry with your friends and think that aku yg salah, aku pun tak kisah. SILAKAN!!!

Tapi don’t treat me sesuka hati. I am not a plaything. I do have feelings. Your so acrid remarks on others turned people off my friend, lose that. I can accept your forever-blunt notes but not others. While others turned not only their backs but showed you their wobbly ass on your face, where was I? I am there by your side. DID YOU FORGET THAT? What more do you want out of me? I cannot please every damn soul. I cannot even at times please my kids, what more you. Like it or not. I will be me. Do not force me to be what you want me to be. You are neither my parents nor my significant other. They, themselves would not dare ask me to do that.

I am not someone who bears a grudge and simply forget the good parts of a person. Even after, they did or say nasty things to me or about me to others. I will still absolve it all. Yeah! I am naive, so be it. I will not have friendships that last decades if this was not part of me. Because of this part of me, I sustained friendships over more than a decade. I love that nature in me. Do not ever try to take that away.

People will Always Hurt you. People will Always Talk about you. Do I need to remind you all that? We all are the same species. We all do that. Such is life. Is this part of life so abstruse for you that you cannot seem to accommodate it? Even my hubby at times hurt my feelings with his words and actions. Be it on purpose or not. This is life my friend. If I have to cater to your feelings, be fair, Cater for mine too. Friendship plays a part in everyone and not just on a person. Friendship comes in two different directions. Do not be substandard. In addition, babe it is my choice to befriend with whomever I want. I never restricted you. That is your life. I respect your decisions. I can only advice. At the end of the day, you make the rules; you make the decisions because that is your life.

Please woman, Do Not waste Years of Friendship and Good Moments over silly things. Be more mature ok!

I had to wake up with a sad and raging to the core feelings. How dare you!

Enough said. Anger burns too much calories in me. I am that skeleton enough; I do not wish to lose more. Such ado is so not to my kind, I should not partake in it.

Thank you for everything. For both the Bad and Good incidents and memories. You made me wiser as I learned more about humans and their different natures.

*Diana turns to a bellicose mother*